‘Opus’ Review – Malkovich Mesmerizes, but Does the Movie?

Opus is the directorial debut for writer/director Mark Anthony Green and stars Ayo Edebiri as Ariel Ecton, our main character and an aspiring writer, and John Malkovich as Alfred Moretti, a musician with a Prince-esque aura and the global popularity of Michael Jackson.  The synopsis reads: “A young writer is invited to the remote compound of a legendary pop star who mysteriously disappeared thirty years ago. Surrounded by the star’s cult of sycophants and intoxicated journalists, she finds herself in the middle of his twisted plan.” The film is still listed on Google as a musical/horror which it most certainly is not. There are no musical numbers in the traditional sense, but there is music throughout the movie. I’d personally classify this as more of a thriller but I’ll talk more about that later.  So, is Opus as compelling as John Malkovich? Let’s talk! My Thoughts First, let’s clear the air about the genre. I went into this movie without seeing a trailer or anything and all I knew was that Google listed it as a musical/horror. I love horror movies but I’m decidedly much less enthusiastic about traditional musicals and I was expecting that I’d strongly dislike the movie as a result. I said if I had to pick a genre, I’d call it a thriller but even that feels like a bit of a stretch because there aren’t many thrills to be had here either.  That’s probably my biggest issue with the movie overall too. You’ve probably seen movies like this a ton, especially in the last handful of years even. We’ve got it all including a cult compound in a remote area, creepy people, odd quasi-religious ideas, and even murder to make a point about something. Some movies can afford to be formulaic if they have a standout element, and Opus achieves that with the perfect casting of John Malkovich. I’m a known Nicolas Cage fan, so odd, eccentric performances really work for me and from the first moment we see Malkovich, you could tell he was having a lot of fun with this role. Because of his unique aura as an actor, you immediately are able to buy in that he’s a global phenomenon with a magnetic amount of charisma, or rizz, as the kids say these days.  I was even enamoured by the music. They definitely had Malkovich work on the songs and I have been listening to them so much I won’t be surprised if some of them end up in my Spotify Top 5 this year. I admittedly started listening as part of the bit, amused hearing Malkovich sing these songs, but before I knew it I was just enjoying them for what they are.  On the other hand, Ayo Ediberi was just fine for me in this. I usually like her, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that she was just playing the same character from The Bear. She definitely isn’t bad, it’s just that she didn’t stand out enough for me in this.  The supporting cast was also largely forgettable unfortunately, with most of them being largely silent cultists or hollow stereotypes. I also blame this mostly on the script though. In Ayo’s case, we don’t really get to dive into her character in a more meaningful way. There’s a scene right at the beginning where we get some idea of her aspirations, but then it’s mostly just her moving through the different plot beats. The rest of the characters feel more utilitarian than anything, and even the reasons for their existence within the narrative are mentioned in a single line at the end of the movie.  This lack of depth also extended to some of the themes in the movie too. I won’t get into spoilers (but listen to our podcast episode about Opus here for our spoiler-filled thoughts), but the whole religion/doctrine of this cult is barely explored and I felt like this really blunted the impact of the ending. This is extra disappointing because I did like the ending enough and the potential to be a bit more impactful was there, they just didn’t reach deep enough to get there.  There is some decent visual style to the movie, including this cool thing they do to characters’ eyes when they’re watching Moretti perform. There’s some decent laughs throughout too and I loved all the Better Call Saul/Breaking Bad overlaps.  Verdict Maybe it’s just because my expectations were at rock bottom, but after much deliberation, I’m giving this a slightly positive score. The overdone plot and shallow characters hold it back, but I still had a good time, mostly thanks to Malkovich who single-handedly keeps this movie afloat. Without him, it would be a score lower easily. That said, it’s a solid first effort from Mark Anthony Green, and I’m curious to see what he can do with more experience under his belt!

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‘Novocaine’ Review – Jack Quaid Takes a Beating in This Fun Action Comedy

R.E.M. told us that everybody hurts, but do they? Jack Quaid, who plays Nate in Novocaine, the latest release from Paramount Pictures, certainly doesn’t.   Nate is a lonely, mild-mannered assistant manager at a local bank who has a rare disorder that prevents him from feeling pain. After falling for his co-worker Sherry, played by Amber Midthunder, their bank is robbed and Sherry is taken hostage. Fueled by love, Nate sets out on a mission to rescue the girl of his dreams. That’s all you really should know going into this movie. As always, I checked out the trailers after watching the movie and I definitely suggest you avoid them if you’re interested in checking this one out. It’s not the kind of movie with massive twists and turns, but so many moments that I enjoyed while I watched are shown in the trailer that I’m grateful I was able to experience the whole movie without knowing certain moments were coming. If you need a taste of the marketing, the best promo for this movie came from Jack Quaid himself at a Clippers game, where he looked more beat up as the night went on. The film was directed by Dan Berk and Robert Olsen and was written by Lars Jacobson. Quaid and Midthunder are joined by Ray Nicholson, Jacob Batalon, Betty Gabriel, and Matt Walsh who flesh out the supporting cast in this action comedy film. Nicholson (yes he’s Jack Nicholson’s son) plays one of the bank robbers, while Batalon plays Nate’s gaming buddy, and Gabriel and Walsh play detectives working to solve the case.  So, did Novocaine leave me love-struck or did I wish I was numb to the whole thing? Let’s dive in! My Thoughts Honestly, it might have been a general lack of awareness about the marketing and pretty minimal expectations, but I had a lot of fun with this movie!  First off, I’m a sucker for a good needle drop and this movie has some absolutely fantastic ones, including right at the beginning of the opening credits. From the opening titles though to one of my all time favourite songs from The Darkness, they absolutely nailed these song choices and they work so well at these certain points in the movie. It’s not a make or break kind of thing, but it can’t be overstated how much fun a stellar soundtrack can be.  Anyway, song choices aren’t the only parts I liked. Jack Quaid as Nate was so perfect. I first saw Quaid in The Boys and most recently in Companion (not ‘The’ Companion, Brandon) and he definitely knows how to use his physicality (or, I guess, lack thereof) to his advantage in these different roles. In Companion he plays a dweeby bastard to perfection, but in Novocaine he’s much closer to his performance as Hughie in The Boys. He’s definitely a sheltered dork, but he has an undeniable charm and likability to him that made me immediately drawn to him and invested in his well-being.  It’s because of this care I had for his character that makes what he endures so impactful as an audience member too. He may not be able to feel pain, but I felt some of that pain on his behalf as the movie progressed. This was another high point of the movie for me, too, because I was really impressed with how well they play with the premise and how well they build up the moments that genuinely had me and others in our audience audibly groan in anticipation of what’s going to happen or wincing when it finally does. Whether I was laughing, wincing, or groaning though, I was constantly engaged and invested in these moments and really had a lot of fun with them. I was a bit more mixed with some of the writing though. There were some nifty little moments that I won’t spoil here that surprised me and felt like clever little departures I didn’t expect the movie to make, but there were also moments where the cliches and some cheesy melodramatic lines made my eyes roll a little bit. It’s definitely a more middling script, but the main cast and their chemistry in particular elevated the material. Speaking of the main cast, I was blown away by how much I enjoyed the first act of the movie, particularly with how much I bought into Nate and Sherry. The chemistry between Quaid and Midthunder was fantastic and I thoroughly enjoyed their dynamic. I think this was so important for making the rest of the movie work, because if you really want him to save her, it makes you more engaged as the adventure unfolds. It’s not like I was deeply emotionally invested or anything, but I was eager as I was watching it and it definitely made a big impact on my viewing experience. I can’t say the same for all of the supporting cast though. At best, I thought Walsh and, to a lesser degree, Gabriel were fine as the detectives investigating the robbery. They don’t have crazy prominent roles or anything, I just didn’t really care for them much when they were on screen. I was also mixed on Jacob Batalon, as Nate’s gaming buddy. He had some good moments, but I found his comedic relief character was more distracting and less funny in a movie that didn’t really need his character to add more comedy. Nicholson unfortunately did absolutely nothing for me as the main bad guy. He didn’t draw strong feelings out of me either way, so I didn’t really hate his character or anything, but I also didn’t think he did anything to stand out as an over the top villain either. These gripes are all fairly minor though as Quaid and Midthunder were the most prominent roles and they definitely both nailed it.  The only other real issue I had was with the runtime and pacing. The movie sort of stumbled into the credits as it lost some

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‘Mickey 17’ Review: Essential Sci-Fi or Expendable Mess?

It’s been quite a few years since Parasite swept the Oscars, but director Bong Joon-ho is finally back, with a return to his genre roots. Based on the novel Mickey7, Mickey 17 is a comedic science fiction story set in a near-future in which humans have begun to explore and colonize other planets. Escaping financial difficulties on Earth, the hapless Mickey Barnes (Robert Pattinson) signs up for one such expedition as an “expendable”—a job that involves dying for the cause only to be re-printed as a clone with the same memories over and over—selling not just his time and labour but his literal life and body. This is the endpoint of capitalism: human life made expendable for colonization and profit. The body under capitalism is no longer your own—it’s the property of the corporation, to be consumed over and over. And the corporation is not just the corporation, but also church, state, and military all rolled into one. If the anti-capitalist bent sounds a little heavy-handed, that’s because it is. That’s kinda Bong’s whole thing, but the sledgehammer is particularly unsubtle in Mickey 17. For instance, while Mark Ruffalo isn’t quite doing a straight-up Trump impersonation, it’s close enough (his character’s fanatical followers all wear red hats, for one). He walks that line very well, though, giving a performance that just about reaches the same level of fun he was having in Poor Things, his unhinged energy matched perfectly by Toni Collette, who plays his sauce-obsessed trophy wife. In general, this is a much more comedic and over-the-top movie than Parasite. While some of the goofiness and quirk probably won’t work for everyone, it is an utterly unique movie nonetheless. There are quite a few laughs to be had here, even if the crowd I saw it with felt a bit muted. I can see the experience really being elevated by a good crowd. That’s not to say I didn’t have fun, because I did. It’s hard not to get a kick out of Robert Pattinson’s excellent chemistry with Robert Pattinson. He is, by far, the best part of this movie, giving a fantastic performance as Mickey in all his iterations. He’s one of the most compelling working actors we’ve got, and the physicality and voice work he does here is some of the best he’s done yet (with an assist from the excellent VFX and body double work that went into cloning him on screen). If nothing else, the movie is worth seeing for Pattinson alone. But there is a lot more to this film than that central performance, for better and worse. The movie has some interesting world-building and raises a lot of very meaty philosophical questions, but where it falls short is in actually diving deeper into its themes and resolving all of its many threads. There are subplots and side characters that don’t really go anywhere very satisfying, and the pacing feels somewhat off. While not the most egregiously paced film I’ve seen, I could definitely feel the 2 hour 17 minute runtime and felt like the movie could have shed a few subplots to really explore some of the more interesting philosophical and political questions it raises. While far from terrible, this is not nearly as sharp or tight as, say, Parasite or even Snowpiercer, which feels a lot more focused despite treading in similar genre territory and having a similarly on-the-nose approach to its thematic concerns. Despite these flaws, I still had a good time with this one. The cast is amazing across the board, the creatures and humour and oddness mostly all work, and it’s all anchored around a standout performance(s) from Pattinson. I just wish it had all come together a bit more neatly. Verdict Mickey 17 has all the hallmarks of a great Bong Joon-ho film: in-your-face anti-capitalist messaging, cute/terrifying CGI creatures, oddball non-sequitur humour, and a snowy sci-fi backdrop. Robert Pattinson acts the hell out of a multi-faceted role, and the movie explores some very interesting themes and ideas, which all makes for an enjoyable experience. However, its lack of sharp direction and slightly bloated pacing situate this as a lower-tier entry in Bong’s filmography.

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Companion Review – A Killer Weekend Getaway with a Few Bumps in the Road

Companion is a movie that I think is best enjoyed if you know absolutely nothing about it. I watched the trailers after I saw the movie and I implore you to not watch them if you plan to watch this movie, because it gives too much away.  I managed to dodge the trailers, but just before I went to see the movie, a friend of mine texted me what the premise was and it ruined a reveal that happens in the first quarter or so of the movie. Thanks Kevin!  All you need to know going in is that Companion is a black comedy thriller that stars Sophie Thatcher and Jack Quaid as Iris and Josh, a couple who are on a weekend getaway with friends at a remote cottage, and bad things start happening.  This was written and directed by Drew Hancock, in his feature film debut. The marketing also leaned into the fact that Zach Cregger, the director of Barbarian (a movie I adored), was the producer on it.  So with that out of the way, is Companion worth bringing along for the ride, or should you leave this one behind? My Thoughts First things first, I want to say this was a very solid debut film for writer/director Drew Hancock. The film was competently directed, and if you watch it a second time (or know what the premise is) there are some clever hints and nods to the big reveal in the first act. While they wait to make the first reveal clear, there are some pretty fun and clever hints about it for viewers to pick up on.  That also leads me into more of my problems with the script though. Even if you don’t see this early twist coming, what disappointed me most was how untrusting the movie feels of the audience. When things go bad, it’s immediately clear who did something to cause the issue, even if it’s not 100% obvious what was done. This sort of heavy-handedness permeates throughout the movie and while it doesn’t take away from the movie completely, it absolutely impacted my enjoyment.  However, I don’t want to leave you with the impression that I disliked this movie, because I didn’t. These are ultimately minor bumps in the road for what was a well-acted and fun little thriller.  The cast is fantastic. This is the second movie I’ve seen Sophie Thatcher in recently, the first being last year’s Heretic. I’ve been very impressed with her in both of these movies and I thought she balances the challenges of this role incredibly well. Jack Quaid was also great as a less-than-likable boyfriend, too. I haven’t seen him much outside of The Boys, where he plays a much kinder person. The line between a nice guy and an entitled douchebag is thin, though, and he absolutely nailed this role. The supporting cast is also solid, even if they didn’t exactly standout in any real big ways.  The comedic elements of the movie really landed for me throughout the first two acts, but as we get into the third act, the comedic tone is mostly abandoned for a bit more of a serious one. It was a bit jarring for me, especially considering how much fun I was having at the beginning. I will give it credit because the movie doesn’t get as over-dramatic and serious as other movies, but it did lose a bit of steam for me as the jokes subside for a more cliched ending.  I’m a bit cautious to say much more than this here because I really think this movie is best enjoyed knowing as little as possible. Verdict I definitely recommend you give this movie a watch, preferably with some friends at the theatre if you can! I saw this with Sam and Adriana and I definitely think the humorous moments land even better when you’re sharing a laugh with others. While I didn’t love it, I definitely enjoyed it. The first two acts were great and even though the third act faltered a bit for me, it was still solid and delivered a great payoff that I was waiting basically the whole movie to experience.  If you want to hear more of my spoiler-filled thoughts, be sure to check out Talkies wherever you get your podcasts, because Adriana, Brandon, and I will be talking about this in our next episode! In the meantime though, bring your own companions and see this one soon!

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Grand Theft Hamlet Review – To Play or Not to Play?

I admit, when I heard of Grand Theft Hamlet, I thought it was a joke. It was described as “an immersive take on William Shakespeare’s Hamlet shot entirely in GTA 5.” For those who may not be gamers, Grand Theft Auto 5 is one of the biggest and most profitable games of all time. A bulk of this money came from the online side of the game, aptly titled GTA Online, and this film is recorded entirely in that virtual world. If you’ve ever tried it before, you would know GTA Online is a chaotic and often ruthless place to be, which makes it all the more impressive to see what was done here.  Grand Theft Hamlet was directed by Sam Crane and Pinny Grylls and chronicles the experience of Sam and his friend Mark Oosterveen as they attempt to cast and produce a live, virtual production of William Shakespeare’s play Hamlet in GTA Online during the throes of the COVID-19 pandemic and lockdowns.  The last thing I’ll say to preface this review is that it’s more of a documentary than a showcase of the actual production. The initial tagline I mentioned meant I was more ready to watch their version of Hamlet, which you get glimpses of, but we don’t see the whole thing.  So, was Grand Theft Hamlet a noble effort or was it madness, method or not? My Thoughts I watched this movie a few weeks before I sat down to write this review. I wanted to stew on this a bit more because I was admittedly conflicted after my initial watch and part of that was about my own expectations. I really don’t like when people criticize something for it “not being what they expected” because it’s not the movie’s job to be what you expect. This is a big reason I do my absolute best to avoid trailers and marketing materials before a movie is released because I don’t want to create a picture in my mind before I get to see it. In this case, I was expecting to actually watch the production of Hamlet they performed, but this was not that. But, with that said, after giving myself a bit more time to digest it all, I’m pleased with what was delivered instead.  What we got instead of that performance was a documentary about how they made their version of Hamlet, the cast of characters they met along the way to make it happen, and all the ups and downs that came with that. That’s what Grand Theft Hamlet is on a surface level, but more than that, I consider this up there with Bo Burnham’s Inside as one of the most poignant things to accurately capture the feelings of the pandemic era.  What really stands out to me all these weeks later were those human moments of struggling with the despair and isolation that came with the pandemic and how they managed to create a small community of people that shared the same goal and ambitions to get this done. But of course life didn’t wait for all of this to happen and I was surprised by how emotionally impactful one moment in particular was when the real world forced the team to regroup about the whole project after losing a key cast member. The impact this had, particularly on Mark, was significant, because unlike Sam and Pinny, Mark was living alone and this project was the only way he was really able to experience any human connection during lockdowns.  Another positive highlight was the GTA of it all. Constant random encounters with other players, many of which ended in death, the quirky costumes, and even the emotive acting from the cast using different gestures and such at key times was fantastic. I genuinely laughed a few times at these moments and they added an undeniable charm to the whole thing.  The only thing that holds me back from an outright glowing review is that I didn’t feel the same fulfillment that I would’ve hoped. All of this work and build-up leads to the big performance, which we see in bits and pieces in almost a montage type fashion, but I never felt as fulfilled as I wanted to after such a fantastic build-up. This lack of deeper emotion towards the end of the movie left me feeling a bit mixed overall as the credits hit. However, as time has passed, I feel that the journey was ultimately more important than the destination, and the journey in Grand Theft Hamlet was absolutely something special.  Verdict I never expected to feel this deeply about Grand Theft Hamlet, but here we are. What started as a concept that made me laugh at first glance turned into one of the most unexpectedly poignant films I have seen lately. Not only does it brilliantly capture the surreal isolation of the pandemic era but it also pushes the boundaries of what filmmaking can be, proving that even in the most unlikely places, like the chaotic world of GTA Online, art and human connection can thrive. It is worth watching for the sheer uniqueness alone, but I suspect its true impact will only grow with time. As we look back on the stories that truly encapsulate the pandemic’s emotional toll, Grand Theft Hamlet stands as an inventive, heartfelt and deeply human testament to making art against all odds. You can watch Grand Theft Hamlet right now on Mubi!

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Heart Eyes Review – Love at First Sight or Not Quite?

When I went to see Companion (review coming soon), the trailer for Heart Eyes was playing before it. I do my best to avoid trailers, even when I’m in the theatre, but when this one started, I thought it looked so bad that I’d never bother watching it in the first place. That feeling quickly subsided though as I realized the genius of this premise. The start of the trailer was meant to look like a crappy Netflix hallmark-esque romantic comedy, before it shows what it really is: a horror slasher mocking the genre and Valentine’s Day itself.  Heart Eyes was directed by Josh Ruben, who I recognized from College Humour videos on YouTube back in the day, and the movie was written by Phillip Murphy, Christopher Landon, and Michael Kennedy. Landon is the most notable of these writers, having written five of the Paranormal Activity movies, and directed the Happy Death Day movies, as well as Freaky.  The cast includes lead turns from Olivia Holt and Mason Gooding, who play Allie and Jay, two colleagues at a jewelry company.  Having watched the trailer again after seeing the movie, I would still suggest skipping it. All you need to know going in is that the titular Heart Eyes Killer (or HEK) has gone on murder sprees on Valentine’s Day in two different cities over the past two years and now appears to have begun another killing spree in Seattle, where Allie lives. So is Heart Eyes love at first sight, or does it just lead to heartbreak? My Thoughts The only logical place I can start this review is at the very beginning because that was where the movie peaked for me. As the opening title cards played, the song “Amazed” by Lonestar played and I immediately started laughing. The perfect earworm for this moment and this movie that I heard 10,000 times growing up on Mom’s favourite local radio station, Country 93. Anyway, the opening sequence was perfect and I hoped it was an indication of things to come. Unfortunately, it was the best part and I found myself chasing that high for the rest of the movie.  That’s not to say that there weren’t other enjoyable moments in here, because there definitely were. I laughed pretty consistently, especially in the first two acts (though not as much as the guy behind me, holy smokes), but the movie did some things that really took me out of it, especially in that back half.  I have a gripe with a lot of horror movies these days and, unfortunately, Heart Eyes was guilty of this problem. Specifically, I really dislike when horror movies also try to be more than their fun or intriguing premise. Last year it was Abigail that screeched to a halt because we took a break from the child vampire ballerina and Dan Stevens hamming it up so we could get an extended sequence with the main character about their tragic backstory in a cheap effort to make the audience care about them. This kind of tonal clash completely takes me out of the movie and the thing is, I don’t need it. If you cast a strong lead that I enjoy spending time with, I’m going to be invested enough that I don’t need this added backstory or for the character to sit down and leave a voicemail in the middle of a chase sequence to hit that backstory beat even harder.  In Heart Eyes, I was super excited by the opening because it mocked the romantic comedy genre (which are my guilty pleasure movies, by the way), but then as the movie progresses it becomes the exact thing it was mocking earlier, except worse. There were some moments that they undercut with humour, one in particular in a van, but it still had plenty of monologues and serious and heartfelt moments that weren’t cheesy enough to be funny or endearing and just had me rolling my eyes most of the time. I think part of this comes down to the cast, too. I didn’t dislike the leads, but I also don’t feel like they had the kind of charisma required for a good romantic comedy pair. They were fine, which I think makes these serious beats just come across as flat and uninspiring.  I also had some issues with the script. Every single “twist” in this movie is apparent from 100 miles away. I don’t want to give anything away, but I mean, there was less than zero mystery for me in this movie. As a result, the final act fell completely flat for me. The reveals are so uninteresting that I felt almost mad that they bothered to include it. There’s a fourth act sequence in this that genuinely made me a little angry about how forced and cliched it felt.  Before that final act though, I was enjoying myself enough, but nothing really worked for me in the back half of the movie. If it stuck the landing better, this would’ve been an easy recommendation. Unfortunately, this isn’t the storybook ending I wanted. Verdict Heart Eyes had me hooked from the start, but the longer it went, the less it lived up to its own promise. What began as a clever play on romantic comedies slowly turned into the exact thing it was making fun of, just without the charm. While the humor landed more often than not, predictable twists, forced emotional moments, and a finale that fell completely flat kept it from being the fun genre mix it could have been. If you are not as burned out on these clichés as I am, you might have a better time, but for me, this was a bit of a missed opportunity.

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‘The Monkey’ Review: A Delightfully Absurd and Funny Gorefest

The Monkey is exactly the kind of hilarious, madcap horror-comedy we need to inject a little life (and death) into cinemas this February. The latest from Longlegs director Osgood Perkins, The Monkey is based on the Stephen King short story of the same name and follows twin brothers who discover a mysterious wind-up monkey (don’t call it a toy) that belonged to their AWOL father. Soon after, people around them start dying in a string of bizarre and extreme accidents. With a setup like that, it’s hard not to have fun. I was unfamiliar with the original short story, so I can’t speak to its faithfulness as an adaptation, but I can say that going in relatively blind made for a great movie-going experience. Above all, the movie doesn’t take itself too seriously—it’s easily Perkins’ funniest and most popcorn-worthy movie to date. So, if you’re one of the people who enjoyed the more humorous parts of Longlegs, odds are you’ll love The Monkey. Just be aware that, for the most part, this is a different beast, differing wildly from Longlegs in tone. As with Perkins’ other films, I don’t think this movie will be for everyone, but it sure as hell worked for me. I’ve mostly been a fan of his previous work, even the ones that have been less critically well-received. I liked Longlegs; I appreciated the strange, slow artfulness of I Am The Pretty Thing That Lives in The House; and I loved The Blackcoat’s Daughter, which genuinely chilled me when I first watched it many years ago. The Monkey is a great addition to that filmography, though it might be lacking the depth or uniqueness of some of Perkins’ other movies. It’s also, by far, his least frightening movie to date. If you’re coming into this one expecting to be scared, you’ll likely be disappointed. As a horror movie, it sort of falls flat. But as an over-the-top horror-comedy, it provides plenty of laughs and some very creative kills that don’t pull any punches. If anything, it’s the moments when the movie tries to get overly serious or inject some family and relationship drama that don’t fully land. The throughlines are there, and the monkey as a metaphor for fathers passing down their trauma and darkness onto their own kids mostly works—but the characters themselves just don’t really have enough depth, and we as an audience don’t really have enough time with them to really care about their relationships with one another. Theo James does a fine job in a dual role as the adult version of twins Bill and Hal, making each twin feel distinct and clearly having some fun. Speaking of dual roles, Tatiana Maslany plays Bill and Hal’s mom, Lois, and was definitely the standout for me. She just knows exactly what kind of movie she’s in, and plays it perfectly. Beyond that, Elijah Wood and Adam Scott also show up in fun bit parts, making the most of limited screentime. Casting Maslany in a movie in which one actor plays two roles might be a clever nod to her turn playing multiple roles on Orphan Black, or else it’s a fun coincidence. Either way, the movie is full of similarly clever nods, running gags, and brick jokes that reward those who are paying attention and pay off to great effect. For such a dumb movie (complementary), it’s a lot smarter than it appears. What more can I say? It’s big, dumb fun, with a mean streak that schlock horror fans will love. Verdict The Monkey is for all the sickos who miss the Final Destination franchise. It’s unserious and stupid in the best ways, with some of the funniest, goriest, and most creative horror movie kills I’ve seen in a hot minute. While the movie tries for some deeper themes, it’s best when it’s not trying to be anything other than an absurd and silly gorefest. This movie won’t be to everyone’s taste, but those who are on its wavelength will lap it up.

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Presence Review—A Supernatural Stunner with a Spiritless Script

Presence is the latest film from director Steven Soderbergh who has one of the more interesting filmographies I’ve seen. It includes the Ocean’s Trilogy, Magic Mike, Contagion, Sex, Lies, and Videotape, and Logan Lucky, a movie I really, really like. He was my most watched director last year too, as over the holidays I watched the Ocean’s Trilogy and Logan Lucky again! I’m definitely a fan of his heist movies, but I was incredibly intrigued when I first heard he was directing this movie because it’s so different from his movies that I’m familiar with.  Presence is listed as a supernatural thriller drama with a very simple premise: “A family moves into a suburban house and becomes convinced they’re not alone.” Personally though, I’d classify this more as a drama with supernatural elements and not really a thriller, even if there was one moment where it gave me some chills.  So should you make an appearance for Presence, or is this one better left ghosted? My Thoughts Writing this review feels a bit different for me because, as I start putting my thoughts together the night after watching the movie, I still don’t know what my final rating on the Heart-O-Meter will be. In the past, I’ve begun reviews with a clear rating in mind, only to revise it as I worked through my thoughts. This time, though, I’m writing with the specific goal of figuring out how I truly feel about the movie and whether or not the good outweighs the bad.  Let’s start off with what I liked, which was the direction and more specifically, the camerawork. From the opening scene of the movie (which is why I don’t consider this a spoiler) Soderbergh makes it clear that the camera is a character. It is the presence in the house. The movie has a ton of beautiful oners where the camera just floats through the house as the people living in the house go about their day. As we went up the stairs, there weren’t obvious shakes of the camera with each step, as if a human was walking up the stairs which allowed me to really buy into this effect. It was these early moments that I really loved what I was watching. It was such a unique and cool idea to have our “main character” be played by a camera. I’m just a humble film buff, so I have no idea if another movie has done something to this extent before, but damn did this feel so unique and cool.  Don’t worry though, if this sounds a little too weird for you, we’ve got plenty of humans in the movie too. Soon after the movie begins, a family moves into this house where this presence is tethered. Lucy Liu plays Rebecca (the mother), Chris Sullivan plays Chris (the father), and the two kids are played by Callina Liang (Chloe, the sister) and Eddy Maday (Tyler, the brother). West Mulholland also plays Ryan, Tyler’s friend from school. Before I dig into the performances, there was one downside to the choice to make the camera a character and it was how the movie transitions from scene to scene. Every time a scene concludes, we cut to black before it opens on the next scene. Sometimes this was done a bit more intentionally and organically but other times it wasn’t. For example, the presence in the house seems to feel most at home in the closet in Chloe’s room (as seen in the photo at the top of this review). Some scenes end with the presence returning to the closet, as if it’s sleeping, I guess, but sometimes we will just cut to black at the end of a conversation people have in the kitchen. Ultimately, I found that this hurts the pacing a bit as the movie feels like it’s constantly stopping and starting. At only 85 minutes long though, the pacing issues really didn’t bother me too much. Now, let’s talk about the performances. Of the entire cast, the only standout for me was Chris Sullivan, who delivered a strong performance as Chris. Even now, I’m struggling to determine whether the issue with everyone else was due to bad performances or awful dialogue, but I’m leaning towards the latter. I mean, this was some of the most awful dialogue I’ve ever heard in a movie. The worst examples were almost all from the younger characters too. It’s incredibly jarring when people deliver dialogue that just doesn’t sound or feel right. This was especially true with Ryan and Tyler who talk like nobody else on earth. The script was written by 61-year-old David Koepp and it definitely feels like a 61-year-old wrote what they think Gen Zers sound like without actually verifying that with anyone. I tried to move past it earlier in the movie, but eventually I couldn’t take it anymore and I was quietly giggling every single time these characters said pretty much anything. This was such a big issue for me that it’s really what drags the movie down so much. To make things worse, the narrative itself wasn’t incredibly strong either and I had guessed where the movie was going about 1/3rd of the way in. I’m also not someone who watches something and tries to guess how it will end either, it just seemed so obvious to me at a certain point.  The kids are the main focus of the movie and so most of the narrative and emotional beats were weighed down by the absolutely awful dialogue they had. David Koepp in terms of box-office numbers is one of the most successful writers of all time, but if you look at his filmography, it includes some stinkers like Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, The Lost World: Jurassic Park, and The Mummy (2017). I really wish Soderbergh had a script that was half as good as his direction and camerawork because I think I would’ve absolutely loved this

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‘Nosferatu’ Review: Beautifully Crafted Gothic Horror

It’s hard to tell old stories in new ways. That’s especially true when the story in question is one that’s been told countless times since the 1890s. If you’ve never read Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1897), you’re still likely familiar with the story in some form or another. If not that, then you’re surely familiar with the legacy of vampire storytelling that the novel ushered into the 20th century. How could you not be? Nosferatu is not, strictly speaking, an adaption of Dracula. It’s a remake of the silent German expressionist masterpiece Nosferatu, directed by F. W. Murnau in 1922. But the Murnau film is itself a thinly veiled adaptation of Stoker’s novel (Stoker’s widow sued Murnau for copyright infringement and won). Nosferatu had already been remade at least once before by Werner Herzog in the 1970s, while the original Dracula story has been remade and reimagined over and over again in the last hundred or so years. So, why would anyone remake Nosferatu in 2024? This is undoubtedly a passion project for Robert Eggers. In almost every interview on the Nosferatu press tour, he’s mentioned that he first saw Murnau’s Nosferatu when he was 9 years old and it left a big impression on him. Then, when he was 17, he put on his own stage adaptation, in which he played Count Orlok, and that project apparently propelled Eggers into wanting to become a director. Eggers’ take on Nosferatu isn’t radically new if you’ve seen any other adaptation of this story, but that’s okay. It would be almost impossible to do something completely new at this point, especially when vampires are involved. What his adaptation does do, however, is bring Nosferatu back to its folkloric roots. Eggers has proven with his previous films that he is a master of bringing ultra-specific period settings to life. His obsessive attention to detail and devotion to historical accuracy are perfect for a film like this. Some might argue that he’s even a little too interested in the details. Count Orlok’s period-accurate mustache (he is an undead 17th-century Transylvanian nobleman, after all), for one, has been the subject of much online debate and memes. Personally, I loved the ‘stache and thought it was a unique costuming choice that sets this Count apart from previous versions. But I can also see why some people found it strange or funny (along with Bill Skarsgard’s voice and accent work), and why that kind of reaction isn’t necessarily what you want out of a horror movie. Likewise, there are some scenes in the movie that serve no purpose in the narrative, other than to showcase some of the folk mythology around vampires. I’m thinking in particular of a sequence in which Nicholas Hoult’s Thomas Hutter follows a group of Romani travellers into the woods. It’s an atmospheric and interesting sequence, and it sets the mood for Hutter’s journey into Orlok’s castle, but with the movie’s somewhat drawn-out pacing, a scene like this could easily have been cut without losing anything essential. It’s only there, really, because Eggers is so devoted to showcasing historical vampire lore. Eggers interest seems to lie much more in recreating a world and an atmosphere and an image, as opposed to really digging deep into his characters or thematic concerns. The film’s protagonist, Ellen, is played well by Lily-Rose Depp, especially in her physicality, but certain character details are kept deliberately vague (her past trauma, her desires, her feelings of being an outsider in her time and place)—we get glimpses that could be explored further but aren’t really beyond the more ambiguous way these details are presented. But really, I’m nit-picking here. That surface-levelness adds to the almost fairytale-like quality of the movie. Beyond that, this film is also impeccably crafted. Everything from the costumes and sets to the use of natural lighting to the dark sumptuous cinematography makes this adaptation feel special, even if the beats are all familiar. It’s Gothic horror through and through, dark and operatic and nightmarish. While I wasn’t exactly scared by the film myself, it exudes a pervasive sense of dread that feels like it honours the source material. At one point, Count Orlok tells Ellen, “I am an appetite. Nothing more.” This version of Nosferatu is frightening precisely because he isn’t at all humanlike in his desire. He’s not a suave calculating gentleman with teeth—he’s a decrepit monster driven by an insatiable primal need to consume. There’s no sexualized caressing of pristine, untouched skin on a pale, outstretched neck. This Nosferatu is all writhing bodies and visceral, animalistic leeching from the chest (closer to the source—another great detail taken from vampire folklore). While the film gestures toward the romantic with the preternatural bond that Ellen shares with Orlok, and while it has a whole psychosexual thing going on the surface (Ellen’s moaning when she’s under Orlok’s spell; her diagnosis of hysteria, a condition historically weaponized against women who exhibited sexual agency; Nicholas Hoult’s frantic sweaty shirtless desperation), this is a largely bloodless vampire movie, in the sense that it’s much more grounded in the earth. It’s more interested in moldering rotting corpses and filthy hordes of rats and contorted bodies and faces, with blood leaking from the eyes. While there’s a fair amount of sex here, the film is far from being sexy. In the long history of vampire stories, we’ve reached a saturation point, and the vampire has arguably been defanged in pop culture ever since Twilight. So, I’m glad to have another vampire story in which vampires are not just scary again, but truly monstrous. Verdict No one asked for or needed another take on Dracula—yet I’m glad this dark Gothic nightmare of a film exists. Robert Eggers’ incredible eye and attention to detail bring some fresh blood to a story as old as the medium of film itself. The unsettling atmosphere, impeccable craft, and very committed performances—especially a physically demanding turn from Lily-Rose Depp—make this adaptation of the 1922 classic well worth your

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The Damned Review — Beautiful & Bleak Horror at Its Finest

For anyone that’s been following along at Screen Love Affair, you know the horror genre is one of my favourites. However, most horror movies these days don’t work for me. Not only do so many of them feel the same, they often lack any real identity, and the worst part is that they lack any real fear. However, it’s not all doom and gloom. 2023 and 2024 both delivered horror movies that ended up in my top 10 favourites list (spoiler for the 2024 list) with Skinamarink and Oddity.  The Damned intrigued me. From the first trailer I saw for it ahead of Nosferatu, I knew I had to see the movie. The movie takes place sometime in the 19th century in a remote Icelandic fishing “village” which is more or less made up of about seven people. Odessa Young plays Eva, a widower and owner of this fishing enterprise. One day a foreign ship sinks offshore near their village and when bodies eventually wash ashore, bizarre things begin to happen to this small community.  So, does The Damned rise to the occasion, or does it sink into the icy depths of generic horror slop? My Thoughts It’s crazy in a genre that is as saturated as horror is, that I’m constantly surprised and impressed with how much uniqueness can still exist. The Damned is beautiful, bleak, horrifying, and exactly what I was hoping to see.  Let’s start first with how the movie looks. The Icelandic backdrop is gorgeous. If you hate winter, I suppose you may disagree, but the coastal village surrounded by snow covered hills and mountains was absolutely breathtaking. At the same time though, it’s cold and you feel that throughout the entire movie. This is where the “bleak” aspect comes in. This world is cruel, harsh, and unforgiving. The village is struggling, with so little food they end up resorting to eating some of their bait. That’s also why, when a boat sinks off their shore, ultimately they decide there’s nothing they can feasibly do, and so they leave the crew of the shipwreck to their fate.  Beyond this, it wasn’t just the world that felt bleak, but this was a rare case where the doom and dread that permeates throughout the movie gives you a feeling of hopelessness for these characters. In a typical slasher, I always expect there to be, at the very least, a final girl that survives the events of the movie. I had no such confidence about the fates of the characters in this village and it’s because of how well the different aspects of this movie come together to create this sense of hopelessness. The landscape, while beautiful, is also cold and isolating. The music, while nothing groundbreaking or new, enhances those feelings of unease as the movie progresses.  This isn’t your average jumpscare horror snoozefest, this is something that genuinely had me shook as I was watching it. All the typical horror tropes are pretty much cast (pun intended) aside for a subtlety that managed to scare me for real. The most effective tool the movie uses is silence. One scene in particular was completely silent, but what I was watching freaked me out so much that I almost wanted that loud pop jump scare to release me from the tension I was feeling. That’s also where the depth of this movie comes into play and how it sets itself apart. This isn’t some sort of slasher/monster movie in the traditional sense. The horrors experienced in this movie are very much a consequence of the mind and the soul. Grief, trauma, sadness, and fear are all significant themes the movie and its characters explore and experience and this is done to great effect.  I don’t want to give away too much here, but there is a benefit to following the movie closely and much of the movie is up for interpretation. I’m writing this review after screening the movie only once, but I’m excited to see it again in theatres to get even more immersed in the movie and see what things I catch on a second viewing.  As far as performances go, everyone is solid in their roles, including Joe Cole who you might recognize from Peaky Blinders) and Game of Thrones alumni Rory McCann and Francis Magee among others, but this is really the Odessa Young show and she was absolutely brilliant. As a woman living in the time that she did, she masterfully moves between the grief of a widower, the strength of a leader, and the passion of someone with more love to give. I first saw Young in My First Film and, as I noted in my review, I thought she was also fantastic then too. At just 26 years old, she has some great experience already and is a talent worth keeping your eyes on! Verdict I mean, what more can I say beyond beautiful, bleak, and horrifying? This is exactly what I want out of horror movies. The Damned filled me with a hopelessness and dread that I haven’t experienced in a horror movie in a while and I’ll be damned (two puns in one review, somebody stop me) if I didn’t really dig it. It also achieved this all while being a very simple movie that didn’t overly rely on effects or cheap tricks to build its tension. This is good old fashioned horror filmmaking on display and I’m very happy to kick off 2025 on such a solid note! The Damned is in theatres now in the UK, Ireland, USA, and Canada. Don’t miss it!

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